Ok tbh this is a weird topic but i think it was pretty interesting. This is also sort of a life story type post, so if you don't want that part i'll try to sum up my views at the bottom.
My views in childhood
When i was young, (around 7-13 y/o) I realized that we were mortal. I mean, i knew before of course. But there was a point that I think i understood the *finality* of it, yknow? So being a hyper-logical person, it was a strange issue to deal with. I beleive I was also depressed at the time to provide some context. But my thinking was that life was a choice between living and dying. I don't think this is a normal thought process for anyone, let alone at that age. Eitherway, I felt as if I had to make a choice if I were to live or die. So I boiled it down to 'I'll live if I want to' and that is a dangerous way of thinking. Because as soon as something went wrong, or I got too bored, or frusterated with how I was treated, the natural solution is simply to die (to avoid saying other terms lol). And at that age I had a lot of strange issues that most people haven't had to deal with, which i will not go into detail at least right now.
How my views changed (They're changing him...)
Regardless of what you think happens after death (personally I beleive I have no idea and refuse to take a side lol), you WILL die. (Obviously, that isn't helpful for everyone and thats 100% fine. What I am saying is what helped *me*.) So viewing my life as that, what difference would it make to die now or later? Even if I hate every second of my life, it will end nonetheless. So to better explain this (since im doing a bad job haha) I'll phrase it like this: If I die now -> I'll be dead | If I die later -> I'll be dead but have experienced life. When put like that, I feel like the choice is pretty obvious. Like i said, even if life is bad the entire time what would be gained if you died now? I think i would've agrued that you would save yourself the pain of life, but that view ignores the joys of life as well. Dying now is akin to saying you never think life will improve, and you *know* that you are correct. And doing that is very cocky, and honestly almost always wrong.
So is that view even helpful??? Like that just sounds stupid you dumb little
Okay so maybe thinking about death all the time isn't the best way to live. But thats why I'm not dead, so ehhhh? But the question i had after I changed my view was "alright, now we aren't dead. What do we do now?" which i think is a reasonable question. And that really depends on the person. And from what i've seen, most people get stuck there. I've heard a lot of people say that they don't know what they like. That's fair, but is completely within your control I think. Just try *anything*. Literally anything at all. Go on a walk, or build a car, or like how to cut hair, etc. If you want to be super methodical, write down how you like the activities you try. And based on what you enjoyed doing, do it more. I think it's literally as simple as that. As you learn what you like you can spread out from the orginal idea. For example, if I like walking, but what i really enjoy about walking is being outside. From there, i start hiking in the forest. I learn that i love the plants in the forest, then i learn how to plant, etc.
This method has served me very well and i hope it helps someone out. I know my experience is abnormal and I get that it will not make sense or work for everyone, but getting this on paper (text lol) makes it way easier to explain to people. Hopefully you enjoyed reading this at the very least !!
Sum this up im lazy and I hate fun
Death will happen to everyone. D: But dying an early death is no different than dying naturally, since death is infinte eitherway. If you choose to die early, you are saying that your life will *never* improve which is arrogant. But even if it is awful forever, the options are death without living and death with living. In both cases you die, but in one you have a chance to be happy.
found this poem on this site: vashti.neocities.org Thought it was fitting lol.
